Just One of Those Days

I haven’t done a “Dear Diary” post in a while and I feel the need to today. I apologize that blog posts are just now going up. My old psychiatrist retired, which honestly I didn’t mind because I didn’t like her very much. I found a new one and of course have been going through medication changes. I don’t want to complain too much because with the medication change I have found the drive to want to do more, I haven’t felt as depressed (don’t get me wrong I still have my moments or days). Being bipolar even with medicine that works you’re never completely okay BUT there has been a good shift in moods.

Lately though I have been dealing with the anxiety part which I believe stems from not sleeping well. I have turned into a very old lady. I am lucky if I make it to 9;00 at night. Honestly by 6 I am watching the clock begging my body to make it till 9 and I rise early. The downfall is I am tired all day. So there is so much I want to do now that I don’t feel as depressed but I am trapped in a body that just wants to sleep. Keep in mind I take enough bipolar medication at night that I should sleep like a baby and don’t.

I saw my dr today, we are going to try adding Ambien to my regiment. I was on it about 13 years ago and slept great, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that this helps me get some restful sleep so I can accomplish all that I actually want to do during the day without feeling like I need to pass out.

As I am sitting here typing this post up my eyes are drooping. I have the bebe today and I tried to take a nap with her and it was an epic fail. The worst part is that both my son and daughter in law closes tonight which means I have her till midnight at the earliest. You just read I’m lucky to see 9 and I arise early so tonight should be interesting. Seeing what time I arise should be even more interesting.

I am not sharing this to complain, I am sharing because there are a lot of people out there that suffer from some sort of mental illness and I want you to know you are not alone. Not everyone understands what you go through and everyone's journey is different. I want you all to know if you ever need someone to talk to. I am always here.

Much love,

Susan

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